Sunday, 5 December 2010

Day 340, on which the snow is melting and life slips back into normality [5.12.10]

Dag tre hundrede og fyrre. Yeah, sadly it's back to normality and school tomorrow, GCSE prep work and much more boring everyday stuff. It's been great fun to mess about in the snow, have lots of spare time to get stuff done and just relax in the middle of this frustratingly busy term. They say that it's going to snow more later on this week, but regardless of whether that's true or not I think we've had all the original snow fun we can have this year. The 'oh mah gawsh, snow' feeling is over and it may just mean disruption if the heavens open later on this week.

I hit a bit of a low point last night but I picked myself up today and, whilst not doing anything particularly interesting, I think I've fully recovered in time for school tomorrow. Not that any of you care.

OK, the new twenty-day challenge is that I will (maybe) write a letter to someone or something in the posts. It's quite a funny way of getting my troubles and irritations of my chest and should provide ample lulz. Today, I'm going to write a letter to Jessops. You'll see why later.

Dear Mr. Jessops,
Hi. I'm John. And I'm really, really pissed off at you, Mr. Jessops. I never used to like you and your badly marketed stores, but you then rebranded and I hated you a little less. Sure, your font is patronising and calling it utterly distasteful is the highest compliment I can award, but you picked yourself up from the very depths of photo shop shittiness and your stores are half-decent now.

So I've been going to you to develop my film, put it on a barely well-designed CD in a barely well-designed CD case and include the negatives for what good that'll do me. And they haven't been half bad, actually. I've been very please. But every now and then I notice that some of the photos are a little off, their colour is is a little funny. For example, using too much of one chemical in developing can cause the colour of the film itself - a sort of magenta - to be too prominent and the photo is tinted. Similarly, too little of this chemical is sometimes used and the photo is tinted green. Same with light leaks, bleaches, badly contrast-controlled develops, etc etc etc.

Suffice to say, you mess up my film. And this past roll, the one I just got back, is nearly entirely ruined. So thanks a lot, Jessops. There could've been some great photos on that. But because the shadows are too light, and four in a row are tinted bright magenta, they're not how I'd like them. And I can't fix that, without making them look obviously 'Shopped. Thanks.

So please. Train your staff and machines better. And get a new font, it looks like someone cookie-cut yours. Badly.

~John.

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