Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Day 328, on which John (attempts to) shoot Nazi zombies, because that's not an outdated horror stereotype [23.11.10]

Dag tre hundrede otteogtyve. So today, I played Call of Duty: Black Ops 'cause a friend invited me to. I was expecting something like the controls of Half-Life 2 but a bit more violent, but to be honest it was massively different. The entire mood and atmosphere of the game is different. Instead of the light, pick-up-what-you-want, futuristic guns, shoot-endless-sand-mutant-insects mood of Half Life 2, Black Ops is very serious and is all about killing people in the most realistic way possible. Which is probably the reason why today's youth is so messed up. Either that or general social degeneration.

To tell the truth, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed running round at a frustratingly realistic place and jumping up at the realistic height and not five metres or whatever the hell Gordon Freeman can do. I enjoyed shooting my teammates because they were there and because they make such gullible targets. I enjoyed getting kicked off the server as a result of that. I enjoyed hiding in a corner of a room and hoping no one finds me there. I enjoyed shooting crazily ahead of me (or thereabouts) when I saw an enemy.

And, most of all, I enjoyed shooting Nazi zombies. Yes, you heard right, the game has an entire mode with maps and weapons and everything based around shooting Nazi zombies. There's nothing like an outdated horror stereotype to cheer up my evening, woop.

Nah, I enjoyed playing Black Ops. Sure, it wouldn't be something I'd buy for myself, but for those two hours in which I played it, I did enjoy it. Great fun. Little too much history and realism in it for me (like the kazillions of guns and Vietnam maps), but I'm a sci-fi man as I hope we all know. So, I'll stick to my sci-fi Half-Life 2 where reality bypasses abound and all those hardcore button-mashing CoD fans can take their Black Ops and have some fun. I'll have mine. Shooting endless numbers of sand mutant insects. Because that's not a waste of time.

~John

ps. Contrary to popular belief, Black Ops is in fact not just Barack Obama and Samuel L. Jackson playing that well-known game where you have to get the bones out of the guy's body without buzzing the sides of the openings. In fact, I don't think Samuel L. Jackson features in it at all. Though he'd sure fit: "I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKIN' NAZI ZOMBIES IN THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' HAUNTED HOUSE!"

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