Thursday, 23 September 2010

Day 266, on which John goes to London... IN HIS MIND [23.9.10]

Dag to hundrede seksogtres. I'm feeling a little better today, which is good, because I missed a blog post two days ago because of this damn illness. Apparently it's a mixture of flu, 'brain strain' (technical term), stress (pfft I'm not stressed (goddammit I said I'm not stressed!), k?) and flu. The fearsome threesome. And not a threesome in that way, you dirty person. It's like the three horsemen of the apocalypse. They're riding to my house. And Stress keeps asking "are we there yet!?" angrily. Brain Strain can't string two words together; he focuses on riding his horse. And Flu, though weak and feverish, is leading the others valiantly, riding to my house. I'd hold them off with my nunchucks, but I don't know how long I would last. We'll see when they arrive.

So today, I'm going to take you to London... IN MY MIND! WoooOOOOoooOOOoooOOOOOooo!

Yeah but, no, but, well, I went to London last monday and I finally got the film developed and the photos are up for all to see on John too, my secondary Flickr account (speaking of secondary Flickr accounts, Dano's got one now ahahahahahahahaha... too far?). So let's take a trip to London... IN MY MIND!


Here's the main shot for my art project. Yeah, I don't just go on random trips in school time. I have to be working towards something. Pfft targets pfft. I wanted to show the bright, garish - and thoroughly depressing - merchandise stores in our sorry capital. I never saw anything like this in Copenhagen, I wonder why. Oh yeah, that's right, it's because Denmark is too cool for shit like this. Anyways, I upped the  saturation and yada yada yada, this shot was violently born. I would've got it straight-on, too, but I'm an idiot and it's both off-kilter and not straight on.

You get the idea, though. I took a couple of shots like this, they're not very good. Because I was kinda stuck for good angles, it was all just the postcard shots that everyone else dragged me to. Look, take a picture of Nelson's Column! How about, no? Fifty kazillion shots exactly like yours have been taken throughout history. In fact, it was only Nelso who looked on to his column and said "hey, that's a nice angle" who had the glory of being the only person to take a completely unique shot of the column. Underneath; been done before. Straight on; been done several billion times before. Bird's eye view; Google maps has got that covered. So Nelson's column is pretty much out of the question. So out, it's like baggy shirt out. Yeah, that out. Like, when you're watching an old episode of Friends, and Joey's wearing a massive baggy shirt... that's how out photos of Nelson's Column are.


I quite like this shot, from Leicester Square, but since my camera doesn't have zoom it's a little wide. A shorter depth of field would have helped too (I think this was f/5, would've preferred f/2.8). Ah well. Leicester Square is smaller than you'd think. They must have some really small movie premières there. With the stars squeezing their way through the crowd of five people to get to the double doors of the Odeon. And they close this park in the middle at night, because they're evil and hate fun and all its derivatives. They also want to kill all children. They're not nice people.

After taking this shot (or was it before? I forget), me and my pals (well I say pals (I mean friends)) went out for lunch. Why? Because we were hungry. It was 1 o'clock or some ungodly hour like that. Yeesh, do I have to explain everything?

Anywho, what I'm trying to get at is as follows. We ate sushi. Yeah, I know, sushi! John! Sushi! Who'd have thunk it? Well, my friend did when he suggested it to us. So we ate at Yo Sushi!, in London someplace. For some reason this is the only shop which feels it needs to greet its food in its name (or at least the only shop since 'Hola Tortillas!' got closed down in that manky tortilla debarckle). It even insists on having an exclamation mark at the end, so that the sushi hears the owners saying 'Yo!' to it. How nice of them.

Sushi is pretty great actually. The chicken with soy sauce was heavenly, I'll admit that, but I had a bit of a problem with the sushi roll things. Namely, they tasted nice once chewing/chewed, but the act of putting them in your mouth felt like you were slipping a package of leather-clad drugs into your gullet. Plus, I'm a dexterous guy but chopsticks don't like me. They did everything short of stabbing me in the chest. I admit I dropped one of those sushi roll things on the floor, but I don't think anyone noticed (well I did, and the sushi, but it was dead by the time it hit the floor so that's one less witness to worry about).

The sushi restaurant format is incredibly cool. Bordering on the coolness level of Denmark, or even bacon. The chef cooks up the little roll things (etm) in the middle of a long, oval-shaped conveyor belt. You sit around it and grab the ones you want. You then collect the platters, stack 'em, whatever, and at the end go to the till and tell them you ate five less than you did. Bingo, you pay less. Which you need to do, considering that water costs about a zillion pounds per ounce.

One of the funny things about the sushi restaurant format is that it becomes competitive. For example, if you see the chef (who didn't smile once in the time I was there, and looks dismayed every time you pick a dish off the belt as if you've pulled an arm off his underpaid body) put a dish on the other side of the belt that you want, it becomes very tense. Will that shady-looking businessman nick my leathery sushi rolls? He's in between me and them! Quick, conveyor belt, move faster! I'm sure it's against sushi manners to run round the belt and nick a dish before it's got to you, but we did it nonetheless. 'Cause we were badass like that. And I wanted my goddamn chicken!

Shit guys, I've gotta stop. The three horsemen of the apocalypse just showed up. I'll show you the rest of the photos later. Excuse me as I go beat the crap out of those three fellas. Be right back.

~John

2 comments:

Leigh Systems said...

You went to Yo Sushi when Itsu is round the corner from Leicester Square?

John said...

Meh, Richard dragged us all there. And there was no stopping Richard :P